How to survive LDR

In today’s time and technology, I can say distance is not anymore a big problem. You can do business all over the world wherever you are as long as you are connected to the internet. However, when it comes to personal relationships no amount of Skyping or Facebook Messenger calling can connect the physical length between sweethearts, between mother and child and between families.

Here are my thoughts on how possibly two people can survive this long distant relationship thing. I will not be writing about the physical ways but more on how to nurture the relationship during the distance.

  1. Communicate effectively and consistently.

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For a brief period of time, I experienced the life of an OFW in Dubai. I can faithfully attest it is not easy. What do I want to hear from my family back then? Everything that is happening in their daily lives! We all have different ways to cope with loneliness. If your partner is the kind who wants to take part of your daily existence then communicate effectively and consistently. When I say effectively, I mean explain well what you mean or in detail if necessary. It will help a lot if you somehow screen the little problems that you can solve on your own, as this might add stress to your partner who is already dealing with a lot of stress at work, with his schedule, with his colleagues and from missing you.

If your partner happens to be a seafarer who doesn’t get a satellite signal for days, continue to keep in touch even if you don’t get an immediate response. For sure he/she will be reading and re-reading your messages and viewing your saved pictures before bedtime.

  1. Work on your personal goals.

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Make use of this time apart to work on your personal goals. Time management is the key to everything. Idle and unproductive moments can sometimes lead you to think of unhappy thoughts and create fears that are not really happening. If your kids are sucking up all your energy, make it a personal goal to have your “me time”, your own time wherein you only do the things that make you personally happy and can revive your energy in any way possible.

If you enjoy spending “me time” with your husband in the privacy of your bedroom Skyping, so much better.  It will tell him how important he is to your life as a lover, and as a partner and not just a provider.

  1. Work on that trust issue everyday.

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In order to avoid conflict and doubt, keep your partner posted on your whereabouts. I met a man in Dubai who eventually became my good friend who told me that in everything that he does, his wife is the first to know – from the moment he wakes up (what mood he’s into), the food he eats, the places he’s been to, the people he met, down to the desires of his heart at any given moment. Again, this goes back to my point number 1, to communicate effectively.

In my personal opinion, distance is not an issue as long as the trust, respect and love is keeping your relationship alive. I have witnessed couples that managed to stay together for the sake of keeping the family intact but the love has been long gone. There were also couples that appear sweet but are not really happy.

Long distant relationship will work as long as you are both committed to make it work.

Here’s the funny thing, I have had three serious relationships that are all long distant that didn’t work. So I may not be the best person to write about this after all haha! Thanks for reading, until next time.

Hugs <3

Shine

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